LOVE RECONNECTOR - Sylvia Silvers | Husband

 

My love, have you ever looked at your husband and wondered, “Why don’t I feel anything anymore?”

The respect is there. The memories are there. But that spark? Gone.

If you feel stuck in a marriage that looks good on paper but feels empty on the inside—you’re not the only one. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not broken. But you are tired of pretending.

In today’s episode, we talk about what really causes that loss of attraction—and how to bring it back without chasing, fixing, or faking it.

You’ll learn:

  • Why attraction dies when you’re always in control
  • How managing him like a project is killing your desire
  • Why passion needs mystery (and how to bring it back)
  • How to feel good in your body again—just for you

This isn’t about waiting for your husband to change. It’s about rediscovering the part of you that’s been buried under all the pressure.

Let’s get your energy back. Let’s bring back the feeling.

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Watch the episode here

 

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Why Am I Not Attracted To My Husband Anymore?

Hello, my love. This episode is about something people rarely say out loud. You love your husband and you respect him, but when he walks into the room, you don’t feel that pull anymore. Maybe you used to. Maybe in the beginning, there was excitement, passion, that deep craving for him. Now, you feel nothing, or worse, you feel annoyed. His jokes are not funny anymore. He has too many bad habits you don’t like. He’s not helping much with the kids.

All those add up, and it makes so much sense if instead of thinking “I want him,” your mind goes straight to, “Why doesn’t he try harder? Why do I feel more excited about a work project than him? Is this what marriage is supposed to feel like?” When the fear kicks in, you may say, “What if I never feel attracted to him again? What if I’m not capable of deep love? What if I’m stuck in a marriage that feels empty?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you’re not alone. I’ve been there as well.

Why Does Attraction Fade

I’ll tell you something right now. Attraction isn’t just something that fades away. It’s something that can be understood, nurtured, and rebuilt. We’re going to talk about why attraction fades in relationships and how you can bring it back. Before we go there, we need to know why attraction fades. Let’s be honest, why do you feel nothing when you look at your husband? Most people will tell you, “That’s marriage. The honeymoon phase ends,” but I don’t believe that.

During our trip to Egypt, many were surprised by how nineteen years together, having two kids, still can share so much love and admiration with each other that makes their hearts feel so warm to witness. I pray that every couple feels the same way. Attraction shifts over time, but feeling zero desire and feeling repelled by the person you’re supposed to love is not normal. That’s a sign of something deeper. Think about this. Do you feel like you’re always in control? The more you control, the less mystery there is.

 

LOVE RECONNECTOR - Sylvia Silvers | Husband

 

Do you see every day as predictable, safe, and boring? Attraction thrives on uncertainty and surprise. How about do you feel more powerful than him? When you feel the stronger one, it can be hard to see your partner as desirable. Attraction isn’t just about looks or effort. It’s about energy. Right now, something in your marriage is blocking that energy. Let’s bring it back and break it down. Here are the three major reasons why attraction fades and what you can do about it.

Taking On The Masculine Role

The first one, you’ve taken on the masculine role in your relationship. This is huge, and I’ve been there as well. If you’re always the one leading, making decisions, and taking care of everything, you don’t feel like a woman in love. You feel like his manager. Tell me, do you feel turned on by managing things? Do you feel attracted to someone when you have to remind them all the time to do things? Probably not. Attraction thrives on balance, on masculine and feminine energy playing off each other. If you’re constantly in control, handling everything, and making all decisions, there’s no room for attraction to breathe.

What to do instead? For the next week, practice stepping back. I know it’s not easy, but let him decide something small first. Let him handle something without you stepping in. See what happens when you let yourself relax. It might feel strange at first, but the more you allow space, the more he has room to step up. Remember, feminine guides, masculine leads. This is the concept that the wife is the neck and the husband is the head of the family. Can the head turn left, right, up, and down without a strong neck?

You See Your Husband As Someone Familiar

The second one, you see him as familiar, not as a man. When you first met your husband, maybe not your husband yet, the very first time, everything about him was new, exciting, and unknown. Now, you know what he will say before he says it. This is a great thing. Silver and I have always laughed because we say or think the same thing. When our kids say something to him and arrive home, they usually say, “Isi responded exactly the same as you, Ema.” Isi means father in the Estonian language. Ema is mom. For us, it’s fun. What makes it not fun is when you think you know what your husband will say, and you choose not to ask and make a decision because you assume his answer and reaction.

Attraction is not just about looks or effort. It is about energy. Share on X

No. Even though you may know, it doesn’t mean you stop asking. Who knows, he will respond differently, and you can learn something else about him. You know what he’s going to wear before he puts it on. You know exactly how he’s going to react to things, and that kills attraction. Let him surprise you because attraction needs mystery. It needs unpredictability, but when your husband becomes too predictable, you become too predictable, or both.

The brain stops seeing each other as a man, as a woman, and starts seeing each other, probably just like furniture. What to do instead? Change something about your routine together. Surprise yourself, surprise him, and do something out of your comfort zone to make you feel good, proud, and wow yourself. Take space for yourself, not to get away from him, but to bring back your own energy. Do something you’ve postponed for so long because you must put others first.

You Don’t Feel Good In Your Own Body

Do something unpredictable, even if it’s so small, because when things feel new again, attraction starts coming back. If you don’t feel good in your own body and feel insecure about yourself, it will be so hard to feel turned on by anyone. When you don’t feel good in your own skin, intimacy starts to feel like a performance instead of a connection.

You start worrying about your fat, your cellulite, and whatever you feel insecure with, instead of feeling the sensation and feeling your body. When you can’t be present, he could tell, and worse, he’s turned off, and you both may feel rejected. You both start blaming each other for how it makes you feel inside. You may think, “If he were stronger, maybe I’d feel safer. If he were more attractive, maybe I’d feel more excited. If he tried harder, maybe I’d feel wanted.”

When you feel good in your body, your energy changes. When your energy changes, attraction comes back. Share on X

The truth is that attraction starts with you. When you feel desirable, attraction flows naturally, so practice this every day. Be present with your body. Move your body in a feminine way that makes you feel sensual, makes you feel powerful, not just to work out, but for your own feminine power, the strength. Start wearing things that make you feel so good, even at home, even just for yourself every day. Stop waiting for your husband to make you feel wanted. Feel it for yourself first. When you feel good in your body, your energy changes. When your energy changes, attraction comes back.

How To Bring Attraction Back

How to bring the attraction back? It’s not about luck. Remember, it’s not about waiting for him to change. It’s about creating the right energy. To create the right energy, as a woman, do your best to stop managing everything. Let him take the lead. Create the space and mystery. Take time for yourself, change your routine, and do what’s best for you to feel good in your own skin because attraction starts with you. The more you shift your energy, the more your relationship will shift, too. Before I go, as usual, I invite you to pick one thing to shift. You can choose to step back and let him take the lead in something small.

One Thing To Shift

Do one thing for yourself that makes you feel powerful, or change up your daily routine to add a little mystery. Watch what happens. Attraction isn’t gone. It’s just waiting to be unlocked. If you loved this episode, drop a comment and let me know what resonated with you. Subscribe for more and share this episode. Let’s help more women reignite their relationships. Thank you, and I’ll see you again in the next episode.

 

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