You want to feel free in your body. To enjoy intimacy without overthinking. But instead… you freeze. You feel awkward, stiff, disconnected. And the thoughts come in: Why can’t I just relax? Why do I feel this way? Let me tell you something: You are not broken. You are not alone. And you can change this.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about:
- Why intimacy feels stiff and awkward—and how to break free from it
- The secret reason high-achieving women feel disconnected from their sensuality
- How to stop performing and start feeling fully present in your body
- A simple daily practice to bring back playfulness, confidence, and desire
- What to do when your body resists intimacy—and how to feel safe again
- Intimacy isn’t just about your partner—it’s about you reconnecting with yourself.
Here’s what I want you to try this week:
✔ Touch your body with kindness.
✔ Hold your arms, run your hands down your legs—not to judge, but to appreciate.
✔ Slow down. Hold a touch longer, meet his eyes when you speak, take a deep breath before reacting.
✔ Let go of the pressure to ‘do it right.’ Focus on how intimacy feels, not how it looks.
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body, this episode is for you.
Listen now and tell me—What’s one small way you’ll reconnect with yourself this week?
Follow & Connect:
#IntimacyStruggles #FeelConfidentInYourBody #SelfLove #RelationshipHealing #FemininePower
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Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
From Disconnected To Desired: Overcoming Intimacy Struggles
Understanding Why You Feel Stiff Or Awkward
This topic is something that feels so hard to say out loud. It could be something you’ve been avoiding because of the taboos, and I know this very well because I was raised in a culture where talking about intimacy is a big no-no. As a love reconnector to help you to reconnect with yourself and your loved ones, we need to touch on this topic.
It’s something taboo, yes, but it’s very important to gain knowledge about it. Too many women have the wrong perception about it, and they have no idea about why and what is the reason for the pain, misunderstanding, and moodiness that comes from neglecting the importance of intimacy in their relationship or in their marriage life. I will start to share about intimacy in a gentle approach to make you see intimacy from a different perspective. I want you to see that intimacy comes from love, from the connection.
I’m a Trauma-Informed Coach, so I understand very well how to guide you and give you the space you need until you are ready for it. You may pause reading and come back again next time when you are more open about it. No one can tell you that you have to listen, but what you can do is to listen to your body and trust your intuition.
You love your husband, you love your marriage, and you want to feel close to him to enjoy the intimacy, to be free in your body, in your sensation, but when the moment comes, you feel stiff. You feel awkward like you’ve in your own head watching yourself instead of feeling the moment, and then the thought starts, “Why do I feel like this? Why can’t I relax? Does he notice? Does he think something’s wrong with me?” If this sounds familiar, I want you to take a deep breath because I need you to know this.
You are not broken, you are not doing anything wrong, and you are not alone. You need new knowledge. I know. I was there. The moment I let go of the fear, the feeling of shame about this topic, I could accept and see it from the lens of love. We are going to talk about why this happens, how to move from the past, from the stories that make you feel stiff, and how to feel confident and be free in your body again.
First, let’s start with this. Your body is not the problem. The stiffness, the awkwardness and the overthinking doesn’t come from your body. It comes from your mind. Here’s what might be happening. You are in the performance mode. Instead of feeling the moment, you are watching yourself, wondering how you look, what’s he is thinking, whether you are doing it right and you may wonder if he pays attention to your belly fat, your cellulite, and whatever that you are thinking about.
He might, but if he loves you and cares a lot about you more than your belly fat and cellulites, he will pay more attention to how you enjoy the moment with him. You might feel stiff because you are carrying or have beliefs about intimacy. Maybe growing up, you were taught that desire was too much, that intimacy was for your partner, not for you, and that you may have to please him rather than yourself.
Your body is not the problem. The stiffness, the awkwardness, and overthinking don't come from your body — they come from your mind. Share on XYou may feel like it’s better to give than receive. That’s all good women, but it’s not the way it is again, especially reading and knowing what most women are not aware of the reason why they feel stiff. You don’t feel fully and safe and you don’t feel seen. Even in a laughing marriage, you might still hold back, afraid of being too vulnerable because you are afraid of rejection or showing too much of your true self.
I have seen this in me when I was operating in my masculinity, and I have seen it in so many successful women who are so busy with their careers that they have stopped feeling like a woman. First work, kids and other responsibilities at home, and it’s so easy to feel like you’ve lost touch with your own sensuality. Your body starts to feel like something does not feel right.
It feels like something is wrong with your body because you are in your feminine body. Your feminine body is longing for feeling pleasure, feeling good, and all of this makes your body tense up. It makes you pull away instead of leaning towards it, but here’s the beautiful part, you can change this. It’s never too late because the more you are aware about it, then you can take the first step. It starts with a small and gentle shift.
Getting Out Of Your Head And Into Your Body
The key to feeling free in intimacy is getting out of your head and being more into your body. Feel your body and your sensations by using the gentle touch. You can practice this when you are alone, or if you are so comfortable, you can practice it when your partner or when your husband is with you. You can do that during the day. Get used to touching your skin with kindness, your arms, your legs, your stomach. Not in the critical way, but in this moment, you know that, “This is my body and I love the way it is. I love my body. I love my femininity,” because feminine is gentleness. Feminine is love.
The key to feeling free in intimacy is getting out of your head and into your body. Share on XThis is so difficult for high achievers who want to get all the things done yesterday, to want to go, go, go mentality, and I know that. To bring you back to this femininity, first, try to slow down. Slow everything down. If you feel rushed, pause. Practice from a small thing. Hold a cup with a gentle gesture, and when you talk, look into his eyes, hold a touch a little longer and let yourself feel.
Move your body outside the bathroom. Dance, especially when no one’s watching. You can be whoever you want. You can move your body like yourself. Feel good about it. Watch yourself move. Feel the curve in your body and remember to always take a deep breath and let your shoulders drop. The more you relax, the more you can feel your body during the day and the easier it’ll be to relax during intimacy.
Desire is not just about him wanting you. It’s about you wanting you. Think about what makes you feel alive, not just sexually but in life. What excites you? What makes you feel beautiful? Adore yourself. Do more of that. Give yourself permission to enjoy you. You don’t have to earn intimacy. You don’t have to deserve pleasure. It’s already yours to have. Bring playfulness back. Teach yourself. Be silly. Laugh without holding it. Be free to express it. Desire thrives in play, not pressure.
Bringing Playfulness And Emotional Safety Into Intimacy
When the moment comes and you feel yourself tensing up, try to say what you need. Hold me for a minute. Maybe you can tell him to hold you in a certain way first. Maybe you can say, “Can we go slower? I just want to be close to you right now.” Practice to see your focus. Instead of thinking about how you look, focus on how you feel. Maybe you also want to feel his hand on your back, the warmth of his breath, the sound of his voice, and try to make one small change at a time. If intimacy has felt routine, try one more, a new setting, a different way of touching.
Desire is not just about him wanting you. It's about you. What makes you feel alive — not just sexually, but in life? What excites you? What makes you feel beautiful? Share on XMaybe change the music in the background, and sometimes tiny changes will wake you up and will give you new energy. If you’ve tried all this and intimacy still feels hard, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself the time you need and ask yourself, “Do I feel emotionally safe in this relationship? Am I being kind to my body or am I criticizing it? Have I been making time to feel good in my own skin?” Sometimes, the issue isn’t physical. It’s emotional.
Sometimes, healing starts outside the bathroom. It starts more from the inside. If something feels stuck, have a conversation with your husband. You may say, “I want to feel closer to you,” but sometimes I get in my own head. “Can we slow down together?” Remember, if you need support, do your best to find it. Talk to a trusted friend, a coach or someone who understands you.
You don’t have to figure out this all alone by yourself because, my lady, stop telling yourself that you have a stiff body. You are born in your feminine body, beautiful body. The feminine body is so gentle and so soft. You are not stiff. You are not awkward. You are learning how to feel safe in your own body again. Bring it back. Remember again, you in your feminine body and the beauty of it. This is a very beautiful thing. You are worthy of deep, real, and joyful intimacy.
If this sounds well to you and it spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know what one small way you do to reconnect with your body again and share this with other ladies that you love because you never know, it may help someone by the shares. My love, your body is not the problem, but it’s the answer.
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