🎙️ Episode: Caught In A Push-Pull Relationship? Why You Crave Connection But Fear Closeness
Do you crave love, but the moment he gets too close, you feel like pulling away?
Then, when he distances himself, do you panic and feel the need to pull him back?
This push-pull pattern is draining, confusing, and exhausting.
In this episode, we’re breaking down:
âś” Why this happens and where it comes from
âś” How to feel safe in love without panic or fear
âś” Practical steps to stop overanalyzing and start trusting love
Because love isn’t something you have to fight for. It’s something you can learn to receive.
This week, try one small shift:
💡 Pause before reacting. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: “I am safe.”
💡 Write down a message of reassurance you’d give to a little girl—and say it to yourself.
đź’ˇ Let yourself experience love without overthinking it.
Because love isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present.
💬 Tell me in the comments: What’s one thing you’re ready to change about how you handle love?
Listen now and tell me your thoughts.
Follow & Connect:
#LoveHealing #RelationshipAnxiety #AttachmentTheory #SelfWorth
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Watch the episode here
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Caught In A Push-Pull Relationship? Why You Crave Connection But Fear Closeness
Understanding The Push-Pull Cycle In Love
I hope Silver doesn’t remember the time I used to call him 1,000 times, panicking when he didn’t pick up. I wasted so much time and energy worrying about things I couldn’t control. My love, let me ask you, do you ever want to feel close to him, to feel loved and secure, but the moment he gets too close, you feel trapped like you suddenly can’t breathe and all you want is space, but then when he pulls away, the panic sets in? That’s your mind starting to race, wondering if something’s wrong, if he’s losing interest, or if you need to fix it.
Does this cycle of craving love and needing space leave you feeling exhausted and confused? If you are nodding, you are not alone. In this episode, we are going to figure out exactly why this happens and how to break free from it. Why do you fear this push-pull in love? You might be wondering, “What is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this? Am I broken?” Let me stop you right there. You are not broken.
This isn’t just in your heart. There’s a real reason why you go through the cycle of craving love but also feeling overwhelmed by it, and we are going to break it all down, why this happens, where it comes from, and most importantly, how to shift out of it for good. By the end of this episode, you’ll finally understand yourself better. I’ll give you practical steps to start feeling secure, grounded, and at peace in your relationship.
The science behind your anxiety, this push-pull feeling, isn’t just emotional. It’s biological. It’s how your nervous system responds to love, closeness, and connection. When he pulls away, your brain panics. It thinks something is wrong. Your heart races. Your thoughts spiral. You might start texting him more, overanalyzing what you’ve said, or feeling desperate for reassurance.
When he gets too close, your nervous system flips the other way. Suddenly, it feels too much. Your body screams, “Back off. I need space.” This happens because, at some point in your life, love didn’t always feel safe. Maybe love was unpredictable. You had to work hard for attention. The people who were supposed to make you feel safe were the same ones who hurt you, so your body reacts before you even think about it. You crave love, but you also feel that you are having that fear and being consumed by it.
Where this comes from, let’s go back for a moment. Maybe the little you grew up in a home where love was there but not always steady. Maybe your parents were warm one moment but distant the next. Maybe they expected you to be the strong one who took care of others, your siblings, before yourself. Over time, your brain learns that connection comes with rules. You have to earn love. Love can disappear at any moment.
Instead of looking to him for reassurance, start by giving yourself the reassurance you need. Speak to yourself with the same kindness you’d give a child. Share on XFast forward to now, all those patterns are still running in the background. They’re the reason you feel anxious when love seems to pull away and overwhelmed when it gets too close. Here’s the good news. You don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle. Now that you understand why this happens, let’s talk about how to change it and how to break free from the push-pull cycle. You deserve a love that feels safe, steady, and real, and that starts with retraining your brain and body to handle closeness in a healthy way. The very first thing that you need to do is to regulate your nervous system.
Regulating Your Nervous System To Feel Secure
The next time you feel that panic when he pulls away, pause, breathe, press your hand on your heart, and remind yourself, “I am safe to love. I am loved. I am okay.” This small action rewires your nervous system to feel secure in the moment. The next thing you want to do is to create emotional safety with yourself. First, instead of looking to him to fix your anxiety, start by giving yourself the reassurance you need. Try to write down, “What will I say to a little girl who is feeling this way?” Say those words to yourself.
For example, if a little girl said, “I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore,” would you tell her, “You may be right, but you are not unlovable.” Of course not. You tell her by calling her name, probably her childhood name, or maybe you want to call her sweetheart or honey, “Sweetheart, you are so loved. You don’t have to be afraid.” Give yourself that same kindness.
You don’t have to fight for love—you are loved. The more you remind yourself of that, the more your nervous system will learn that love doesn’t have to feel like a battlefield. Share on XThe next thing I want you to practice is to gradually choose closeness without feeling afraid that you might lose it. If you feel suffocated when things get too close, touch more. When he hugs you, breathe into it instead of tensing up. When he shows love, remind yourself, “Love is safe. I’m allowed to receive this.” This takes time, but every small step retrains your brain to feel at peace with love.
Rewiring Your Mindset To Embrace Love
The final mindset tip before I go is love isn’t a battlefield. I want you to keep this in mind. Love isn’t something you have to earn. It’s not something you have to chase or fear. You are worthy of love that feels safe. I want you to try something. The next time you feel that push-pull in your relationship, ask yourself, “What will love say to me right now?” Love wouldn’t say, “Run.” Love wouldn’t say, “You are too much.” Love will say, “You are safe. You are enough. You don’t have to fight for love. You are loved.”
The more you remind yourself of that, the more your nervous system will learn that love doesn’t have to feel like a better feeling. If this episode spoke to you, it’s because this is your time to break the cycle and your time to create love that feels good. If you know someone who needs to read this, please share the love. Send them this episode because you never know, you might save someone’s relationship. That’s it for this episode. I’ll see you again very soon.
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